Disney's Ron Stoppable
by Galaxy1001D
Summary: What if Ron Stoppable was the teen hero with the website and Kim Possible was his sidekick? Read this story to find out!
1. Chapter 1

Disney's Ron Stoppable 

By Galaxy1001D

Chapter One: It's a Long Story…

Kim Possible and other Disney characters  
are © Disney Co. Professor Farnsworth and the What-If Machine are properties of Matt Greoning and David X. Cohen.

The light switched on to reveal a chamber filled with strange electronic objects crammed on shelves, tables, and displayed on pedestals. Kim Possible, the girl who can do anything, entered the room, followed by Ron Stoppable, her faithful sidekick, and Professor Farnsworth, an eccentric scientist. Kim Possible was a slender girl whose round Irish face made her look innocent. Her red hair was striking, but her dark green eyes betrayed the strength of body, mind and spirit that many villains bent on world conquest had grown to respect. Ron Stoppable was an awkward boy with messy blonde hair whose freckled face often hid his rapier wit behind an expression of insecurity. Both Kim and Ron were in their mission clothes, black sweatshirts with matching gloves and dark grey trousers.

"Thank you for showing us your laboratory Professor Farnsworth," said Kim.

"It's the least I can do, after you managed to recover my Quantum Interphase Transducer," replied the doddering old man. Professor Farnsworth wore comically thick spectacles, had bad posture, and often forgot to whom or about what he is talking. He was so old and decript that he resembled a bald desseacted mummy sans wrappings but instead wearing a white lab coat and coke-bottle glasses.

Ron was struggling with a bulky piece of electronic hardware and Rufus, an east African naked mole rat was perched on his shoulder. "Yeah, well now that we're here, where do we put it? It's getting heavy."

"Yeah, heavy," chirped his little hairless pet.

Farnsworth seemed distracted and glanced at Ron in confusion. "Wha?" The elderly scientist waved to a corner of the cluttered room. "Oh, just put it over there on that empty pedestal, just be careful not to knock over…" A loud crashing noise was heard, along with the sound of multiple metal objects hitting the ground. "…any of my other inventions."

"Ron!" Kim scolded, putting her hands on her hips.

Ron rubbed the back of his neck nervously "Ooh, sorry Professor Eff, well at least I didn't break that big screen TV hidden behind all that stuff."

Farnsworth squinted at the peculiar apparatus. It indeed appeared to by a large television set, but the border around the screen made the device look more at home in a science fiction show like _Space Passage: The Next Generation_ than a family's living room. "What? Oh, that's my What-If machine, I'd forgotten all about it," said the ingenious octogenarian.

Kim was intrigued. "What does it do, Professor?"

"Simply ask it a question, and it will show you images on the monitor in the form of an ironic narrative," replied Professor Farnsworth.

Ron scratched his head. "Okay, just in case Kim didn't understand that, could you explain it a different way?"

Farnsworth searched for an alternative explanation. "Well it will be like watching a television program that lasts from eight to eighty minutes."

"And we will be able to see what life would be like if…" Kim was interrupted by an outburst from Ron. 

Ron was hopping up and down with his hand raised high over his head. "Ooh! Ooh! I wanna ask a question!"

"All right, what's your question?" sighed Kim.

"What if I was the teen hero with the website and Kim was the sidekick?" asked Ron.

"Yeah!" Despite being a rodent the size of of a toy Chihuahua, Rufus was as intelligent as any human child.

Kim regarded her goofy sidekick with a stern look, her hands once more on her hips. "Ron, that's got to be the stupidest thing I ever…" She paused to stroke her chin thoughtfully. "Hmm, okay, I admit I'm curious."

Ron seized the moment by prostrating himself before the old man. "Oh please Professor Eff, show us what it would be like if I was the hero. Please, please!"

Rufus mimicked Ron's actions right down to groveling with hands (or in his case paws) clasped together. "Please, please!" He chirped through his bucked teeth.

"Very well," Farnsworth pulled a remote control out of his lab coat and spoke into a tiny receiver. "_What if Ron Stoppable was the teen hero with the website, and Kim Possible was his sidekick_?"

The screen flickered to life and revealed what appeared to be the opening credits of a television program, including a catchy song that sounded as if it was sung by Justin Timberlake. The song began with the call of Kim's Kimmunicator. The opening credits to "Disney's Ron Stoppable consisted on a montage of scenes showing Ron in action. Clips of Ron's Kung Fu moves against Monkey Fist, Kim's acrobatics during the time she was trapped in Ron's body, Ron's solo mission against Drakken last Christmas and other snatches of Ron's life that made him look good were displayed. The only scene in which Kim was spotlighted was the time that Ron saved her from Senor Senior Senior's spinning tops of doom, and the time that Ron used Diablo Sauce to remove Drakken's robot tick from the cheerleader's face.

(Beep-Beep, De-Deep)

Ooohh yeahh yeah 

I'm your basic average guy

And my motto's do or die

You can't stop me

Cause I'm Ron Stop-pa-ble

There is nothin' I can't do  
When danger calls  
Just know that I am on my way (know that i am on my way)

It doesn't matter where or when there's trouble  
If ya just call my name  
Ron Stoppable  
Whenever you need me baby  
Call me, beep me if ya wanna reach me

_Chorus_  
Call me, beep me if ya wanna reach me  
When ya wanna page me it's okay 

Kim: Ron!

Doesn't matter where  
Doesn't matter when  
I will be there for ya til the very end  
Danger or trouble  
I'm there on the double  
You know that you always can call  
Ron Stoppable 

(Beep-Beep, De-Deep) 

Ron: So what's the sitch? 

Call me, beep me if ya wanna reach me

Outside of Middleton High School a colossal sign displayed the message HOME OF WORLD FAMOUS TEEN HERO RON STOPPABLE. Kim, now in a lime green tank top and blue Capri pants, was with an attractive African-American girl in a red dress. They both held schoolbooks as they walked through the halls past the seemingly endless rows of lockers.

"Thanks for showing me around Middleton High, Kim," said the coffee-colored beauty.

"It's no big, Monique," replied the redheaded cheerleader. "It's not everyday that we get a new student. I can't believe you've only been in Middleton for a week and already landed a job at Club Banana."

"What can I say, girl?" Monique had a lot of spirit. "Everyone wants to buy what Monique is sellin'." She then lowered her voice and spoke in awe. "I can't believe that you are the sidekick to Ron Stoppable, _the_ Ron Stoppable. Tell me, is he as cute in person as he is on TV?"

Kim rolled eyes as if she had been asked that question dozens of times before. "Oh yeah, he's cute all right. Cute like a puppy you have to take care of." 

At that moment Ron appeared from the Boy's Room wearing his red hockey jersey and clutching his bulky cargo pants. "Hey Kim!" he waved. "Over here!" Unfortunately like many boys his age, Ron had a bad habit of securing his pants while exiting the restroom. He had inadvertently let go of his trousers to wave at Kim and his pants fell down causing him to trip. "Whoops!"

Monique gasped in shock as Ron Stoppable, _the _Ron Stoppable collapsed the ground with his pants around his ankles revealing his blue boxer shorts with yellow polka dots. "Was he, um, _injured_ on his last mission or are there things about the Ron-man I don't know?" whispered Monique as she cupped her hand to Kim's ear.

Kim winced and there was a pause before she responded. "It's a long story Monique. I'll tell you at lunch."

Monique's curiosity had to wait until both after both she and Kim had been served the cafeteria "food" and sat at a table. She still managed to wait until Kim took an experimental sip of her soda before bringing up Ron. "Okay, spill. How did you and Ron start saving the world in the first place, anyway?"

Kim eyes lit up as she began her tale. "Well, about five years ago, I started a website to advertise for babysitting. We got called to Mr. Paisley's mansion, and I saved him from his own security system."

Monique winced as she tested the cafeteria meatloaf. "We? Was Ron with you?"

Kim seemed uncomfortable. "Well, yea, we'd been best friends ever since Pre-K. To be honest without his encouragement, I wouldn't even have entered the Paisley manor."

Monique gave up on the meatloaf and tried the "potatoes". "So what happened afterwards?"

Kim's spirits lifted again and she spoke with youthful energy. "Well, I realized that I could help people with more than just babysitting and getting cats out of trees. I could use my cheerleader skills to save the world. Ron and I started going out on missions. It looked like we would go national, or worldwide."

Monique caught the regret in her voice. "'Looked like?' Sounds like something went wrong. "

Kim didn't meet her gaze. "Well, the trouble started after we met a seven year-old super-genius online. He offered to revamp my website."

Monique gasped in surprise. "Seven-year-old super-genius? How super-genius?"

"He was working on his Ph.D. at the time," replied the athletic redhead.

"Wow, so this junior Brainiac messed up your website?" Monique's voice took an accusing tone.

"No, Monique, it was great," sighed Kim. "There were videos of me in my mission clothes and cheerleading outfit, showing off my moves… My logo was 'Kim Possible: She can do anything!'"

Monique gagged on her food and took a sip of soda. "And…?"

Kim looked down at her food in utter defeat. "People thought it was a porn site," she sighed.

"Ouch," clucked Monique. "That had to hurt."

"Yeah, I took it pretty bad," agreed Kim. "Then my mom suggested that Ron be the front man…"

Monique interrupted her. "Wait a minute, Kim. Are you saying that?"

"That's right," replied the cheerleader. "Originally Ron was the sidekick."

Monique couldn't believe it. "Get out! Are you telling me that Ron Stoppable, _the_ Ron Stoppable, is a fake?"

Kim was quick to spring to his defense. "He's not a fake, Monique. He's just really, really, lazy."

Monique was skeptical. "How lazy we talkin' girl?"

"Well, when I was studying sixteen different styles of Kung Fu, he was playing video games on the Kimmunicator," replied Kim.

"Is he for real?" Monique exclaimed. "You fight terrorists and criminals for crying out loud! Doesn't he know the meaning of the phrase 'Be prepared?'"

"Don't sell him short," Kim retorted. "He does everything that I do—not as gracefully—I will admit, but he's there at my side the entire way."

Monique wasn't buying it. "And you've been carrying him the entire way, just 'cause it's a man's world is that it?"

"No, no, it's nothing like that," Kim denied. "Well, maybe a little," she had to admit. "But he managed to defeat Monkey Fist all by himself, and he saved the entire cheerleading squad from a genetic mutant without any help, well, unless you count Rufus, his naked mole rat."

"I don't know, it still sounds like you are doing all the work, and that boy's getting all the credit," said Monique.

"It's not like it's gone to his head or anything…" protested the redhead.

At that moment Ron entered the cafeteria with a flock of girls around him. "Ladies, ladies, there's enough Ron-man to go around," cooed the teen hero. "Who wants to get the

Ronster some snackage?"

"I do! I do!" replied a chorus of female voices. Kim made a strangled growling noise but was drowned out by a cacophony of feminine comments.

"So tell me again how you saved Wisconsin…" began Tara, a shy blonde girl on the cheerleading squad.

"Is it true that Kim tried to go it alone and that _you_ had to save her?" asked Amelia, the sexy senior.

"Ron, could you do me a favor?" Bonnie, the curviest girl on the cheerleading squad and Kim's chief rival was clutching the boy's arm. "The Spirit Week Dance is Friday night, and I don't have a date…"

"Why Bon-Bon I'd love to…" began Ron, until Kim grabbed his arm and pulled him away from his crowd of admirers.

"Excuse me?" exclaimed the indignant redhead. "Bonnie doesn't even like you! She's just trying to get under my skin because she knows you're my best friend! She's just trying to drive a wedge between us!"

"Chill Kim," Ron tut-tutted. "You know I wouldn't dis my bon-diggitty sidekick. I'm just playing Bonnie…"

"Looks like the other way around to me…" Kim growled.

"Are we just a little possessive, Kim?" giggled Monique.

"No, I'm not being possessive!" Kim snapped.

Ron noticed dark beauty sitting next to his sidekick and his voice became deeper and more manly as he addressed her. "Why hello," he purred, taking a seat at the table. "I don't think we've met…"

Monique batted her eyelashes flirtatiously. "I'm Monique, and believe me, if you had met me I'd think you'd remember," she replied sensuously.

Kim gave Monique a withering look, and then addressed Ron. "Are you out of your mind? Even thinking of going to the dance with Bonnie…"

"Well, she asked me," protested Ron. "What am I supposed to do?" An idea entered his empty head and he looked at Kim and Monique slyly. "Unless one of you lovely ladies would like to go with me…"

Monique raised her hand. "Oh! Oh!" she squealed. "I'm willing to take one for the team!"

"Monique!" exclaimed Kim.

"Sorry Kim," she blushed through her dark skin. "I should have realized Ron was your boyfriend."

"He's my _best friend_, Monique," insisted Kim. "Not my boyfriend."

"If you say so girl," Monique doubted. "But your eyes tell a different story."

At that moment Tara arrived with a tray of cafeteria "food" and set it in front of Ron.

"Thanks Tara!" waved Ron as the giggling cheerleader sauntered away. "Call me!"

"Ron!" Kim scolded. "Don't you and I usually go out together?"

"True," he replied. "But you and I are friends and I was thinking that this year I'd go…"

"With what?" said Kim sarcastically. "An enemy? "

"You know, Kim," insisted Ron. "A _date_, date. A lot of ladies can smell what the Ron is cookin'."

Monique caught the hurt look in Kim's eye. "Noooo…he's not my boyfriend," she giggled sarcastically.

Kim growled at Monique and even Ron could sense Kim's distress.

"You aren't losing me, Kim," he said as he put his hand on her shoulder. "We'll always be tight. Besides, I know who the real hero is."

Kim melted under his touch. "Awww, that's sweet…"

At that moment a naked mole-rat emerged from one of the pockets on Ron's cargo pants and jumped onto the table. "Me!" Rufus exclaimed and then proceeded to help himself to Ron's lunch.

Kim's throat made another growl as the Kimmunicator sounded its characteristic chime. She removed a device that looked like a blue hand-held video game from her pocket. "What's the sitch, Wade?" Although she had control of her voice, the scowl on her face was still visible.

"Kim, we got a hit on Ron's site," replied a voice from the Kimmunicator. "Is Ron up to a mission?"

"I'll drag the hero away from his admirers and we'll find out," replied the girl, who was secretly pleased to notice that Ron's attempts to flirt was hampered by Monique's revulsion from both the cafeteria food and the hairless rodent's antics.

_Next Time, Chapter Two: I've Forgotten Your Sidekick's Name_


	2. Chapter 2

**Disney's Ron Stoppable **

_By Galaxy1001D_

_Chapter Two: I've Forgotten Your Sidekick's Name_

_Kim Possible and other Disney characters are © Disney Co. Professor Farnsworth and the additional dialogue are properties of Matt Greoning and David X. Cohen._

In a small airplane soaring through the sky, Ron sat next to the pilot while Kim was seated right behind him. "Thanks for the ride, Lee," said the cheerful blonde.

"It was the least I could do Ron," said lanky man in his late twenties. "You saved my life during my mountain climbing accident."

"So not the drama, my man," said Ron. "Anyone could have used their pants as a tourniquet. They had ripped off anyway."

"I'm just glad the doctors could save my leg," said the pilot, tapping his right thigh with his gloved hand for emphasis.

"I'm just glad we could save your boxers, Ron," smirked Kim.

"Yeah, it got cold on that mountain," agreed Ron.

Kim stood up and put on her parachute and helmet. "Well, we're over the jump zone, Ron. Let's go".

"Could we just get a taxi from the airport, this time?" Ron fumbled with his straps and Kim had to help him with his parachute.

"C'mon Ron," chided the redhead as Ron double-checked her chute. "Don't be a baby." She opened the door to the plane and jumped out.

Ron gazed after her, paled at the sight of the ground, and shrugged his shoulders. "Geronimo!" he cried as he jumped out of the plane.

"Whee!" said the naked mole rat peeking out of his pocket that had a little helmet of his own.

After landing on terra firma (Kim on her feet, Ron on his face) they packed their chutes and approached a building that looked like a cross between an aircraft hanger and a lighthouse. Kim checked the address on her Kimmunicator. "Well, here we are, Professor Farnsworth's lab. I'll ring the doorbell." Minutes passed without a response. Finally, the door creaked open. "Professor Farnsworth?" Kim asked.

Standing in the doorway was perhaps the oldest man either one of them had ever seen. The apparition before them was dressed in sweat clothes and wore a white lab coat. Pink fuzzy slippers covered his feet. The bald, wrinkled and spotty face before them wore incredibly thick coke-bottle glasses, and had a bad overbite.

"Who are you?" The old man's voice quavered with age. "I don't want to buy cosmetics."

"We're not here to sell cosmetics, sir," Kim assured him. "We're here to investigate the theft of one of your inventions."

Professor Farnsworth seemed skeptical. "Who's going to find it? You? A woman? I'm trying to prevent a catastrophe, not find a parking spot at the mall!"

"But Professor Farnsworth…" Kim was rapidly losing control of the conversation.

"Now go away," snapped the emaciated figure before them. "I'm waiting for that world famous teen hero Ron Stoppable."

Kim sighed and took a step backwards. "Ron, you're on."

Ron started abruptly as if he hadn't been paying attention. "Oh! Right! Hi there, Professor Eff, I'm Ron Stoppable, and this is my kung-fu sidekick, Kim Possible."

"Oh, uh, in that case come on in," Farnsworth had the decency to be embarrassed as he shuffled back into the building. Eventually they found themselves in a meeting room with a large television screen on one wall.

"So what exactly was stolen, Professor?" Kim asked him.

"My Quantum Interphase Transducer," replied the doddering old scientist. He flicked a switch on the table and a hologram of a device roughly the size of a car battery appeared to be floating above them.

"So what does it do?" she asked.

Farnsworth began a long complex explanation. "It affects the dynamic interphase of quantum neutrino fields…"

Ron wasn't really paying attention. He and Rufus were too busy staring in morbid fascination at the oldest man they had ever seen. "What is holding this guy together?" Ron thought to himself. "Look at all those wrinkles… Hey, what's that caught in his teeth?"

Fortunately, Kim was all business. "Any clues as to who took it?"

Farnsworth had to think about it for a moment. "Well, there was a strange woman dressed in green and black. She was so beautiful…" he sighed wistfully. "Do you know what I would have done seeing a girl like that if I was a few years younger?"

"No, what?" asked Ron.

Farnsworth seemed disappointed. "I was hoping you'd tell me. It's been a while… I don't quite recall…"

Kim attempted to keep the conversation on track. "Did the woman's hands glow?"

Farnsworth snapped out of his funk. "Yes, but she wasn't alone. When I was asking her what she was doing in my lab, I was attacked by a hideous blue creature that popped out of nowhere and screamed at me." Abruptly the old man raised his arms and screamed at the heroic team. "RAGH!" he cried as he waggled his fingers menacingly.

"Drakken and Shego!" exclaimed Kim as he pounded her right fist into her left hand.

"Soiled my trousers, I'm afraid," muttered the decrepit doctor.

Ron waved his hand dismissively. "Well, who wouldn't, suddenly being confronted by two supervillains…"

"No, just now." The old man shook his head. "When I said 'ragh'. I soiled my trousers."

"Oooh!" Kim shuddered.

"Gross!" Ron cringed and backed away.

"Pee-you," Rufus put one paw on his nose and disappeared into Ron's pants pocket.

"Well, we must be going," said Kim with forced cheerfulness. "How much of a head start do they have on us, Professor?"

"Well, at least a week," replied the ancient academician.

"A week?" Ron asked in disbelief. "What took you so long to call us?"

"I didn't know your phone number, so I had to use your website," Professor Farnsworth shrugged. "I still have dial-up, and America Online can take a while…"

"Okay. We're on it! Good-bye!" said Kim as she pulled Ron out of the room in her haste to leave.

_Next Chapter: Confrontation at Bueno Nacho_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disney's Ron Stoppable **

By Galaxy1001D

_Chapter Three: Confrontation at Bueno Nacho_

Kim Possible and other Disney characters are © Disney Co. Admiral Sandecker and NUMA © Clive Cussler and Sandecker, RLLLP.

Monique and Kim were seated at a booth in Middleton's local Bueno Nacho fast food restaurant. "So Ron can just call in a favor and get a ride half-way around the world, huh?" asked Monique, grateful to be eating something other than subedible cafeteria food.

"Yep," replied Kim, swallowing her bite of burrito. "We've helped out a lot of people in the short time we've been doing these missions. We know a lot of people, and they're grateful to Ron and I for helping them out."

"Wow," exclaimed Monique. "Your life is TWTBB!"

"What?" Kim mumbled through her next bite.

"Too weird to be believed," said Monique. "Honestly Kim, your parents okay with this?"

"Well, my dad's a rocket scientist and my mother's brain surgeon, so there really isn't anyone that's really _normal_ in our family," replied Kim, feeling a little self-conscious.

"What about Ron's family?" asked Monique. "They cool with the whole teen hero thing?"

"Well, for a while they were afraid that Ron would never assert himself," replied the redhead. "He had a lot of phobias as a child, still does in fact…"

"Get out!" cried Monique. "_The_ Ron Stoppable has phobias? I can't believe it! What's he afraid of?"

"Would you like the list?" Kim asked dryly. "Monkeys, insects, heights, giant robots, henchmen trying to kill him…you know, all the stuff that we encounter every week."

"How does he do it if he's always afraid?" asked the coffee-colored beauty.

"I don't know," Kim gushed with pride. "Maybe its because with Rufus and I with him, he's not alone."

"Rufus?" Monique asked through a bite of food.

"Ron has a pet naked mole rat named Rufus," said Kim. "You might have seen him at lunch."

"Oh yeah, that bald thing that jumped out of Ron's pocket."

"Yeah," Kim nodded. "Ron takes Rufus with him wherever he goes; he's kind of like a security blanket I guess. He gives Ron courage."

"So, Ron can take on the world as long as he keeps a bald rodent in his pants?" Monique sounded skeptical.

"Yeah," Kim laughed sheepishly. "Maybe Ron really _is_ the hero, huh?"

"If you say so, girl." Monique turned her eyes to the cash register, where Ron and his little pet were trying to decide what to buy.

"Hmm," mused Ron. "Chimmerito or Naco? We must choose wisely."

"Naco! Naco!" squeaked Rufus, who was perched on Ron's shoulder.

At that moment a large blonde muscular youth strode in the door. His handsome features were set in grim hostility. He stalked straight towards Ron Stoppable. "So, you think you're pretty, slick, don't you chief?" he growled.

"Who's that?" whispered Monique.

"Brick Flagg, the quarterback," Kim responded.

"Shouldn't you help him?" Monique asked.

"Oh, no." Kim shook her head. "See how the teen hero handles himself."

Ron didn't seem intimidated. On the contrary, he smiled smugly, and then spoke gently as if he was talking to a child. "Brick, Brick, Brick," he scolded.

"Brick, Brick, Brick," chirped Rufus, mimicking his owner.

"We've been through this before," said Ron as he shook his head. "We both know I'm not allowed to fight you."

"You're not?" Brick seemed confused.

"My hands are registered lethal weapons," said Ron smoothly. "If I used them and I wasn't on a mission, that would be a felony. I could be arrested."

"Why?" asked the quarterback, who seemed more like an innocent boy than a mean jock.

"Well think about it, Brick," replied Ron. "If my sidekick knows sixteen different kinds of Kung Fu, the old Ron-man can't be too shabby himself."

Brick rolled his eyes as he thought about this. He seemed to be expending a lot of effort on the task.

"Besides," said Ron, clapping the older boy on the shoulder. "We both know that Bonnie only asked me to the dance to make you jealous."

"We do?" asked Brick.

"Sure," smiled Ron as he put his arm around the jock in friendly camaraderie. "You and Bonnie have been together, for like, ever, just like me and KP. Nothin's gonna break up a team like that."

Monique noticed the sparkle in Kim's eye as Ron said that. A hopeful smile had crossed Kim's face.

"I'll just tell Bonnie that someone else asked me and things will be back to normal," Ron shrugged. "We're all friends, right?"

"Sure Ron," Brick nodded. "Right."

"Okay, go ask her to that dance, champ!" Ron gently punched Brick on the shoulder.

"You're all right, Ron," Brick punched Ron on the shoulder, knocking him backwards. Rufus let out a little yelp. "Bye," the quarterback waved as he headed to the door.

"See ya at the dance, Brick!" Ron waved back as he picked himself up. Rufus made angry sounds and shook his fist in the quarterback's direction as he rubbed his tiny head and then climbed up Ron's body to regain his perch at his shoulder.

"Smooth," smiled Monique.

"You know what they say," grinned Kim. "If you can't dazzle them with brilliance…"

"Nacos it is," Ron instructed the bespectacled fast food manager. "Grande-sized."

"Grande! Grande!" squealed Rufus, jumping up and down on Ron's shoulder.

"Hello ladies," greeted the teen hero as he sat down across next to Kim. "What's shakin'?" Rufus jumped off Ron and scurried on the table to sample Ron's meal.

"Aren't you embarrassed to have a sidekick who can kick more backside than you can?" asked Monique.

"I used to be," Ron replied, "but then I saw _The Green Hornet_ on TV Trashheap Do you know who the sidekick was? Bruce Lee! Bruce Lee, baby! How cool is that? That guy could disarm guys with his _feet_! Ron leapt from the table to demonstrate some martial arts moves. "Who! Ya! High! Ya!" He cried as thrust and kicked comically. "The Green Hornet wasn't afraid to have a sidekick that kicked more side than he did! No way dude! And neither am I," he declared proudly as he sat back down. "I got Kim Possible as my sidekick, and I'll stack her up against Bruce any day of the week." He put his arm around Kim to stress his point and Monique saw Kim smile and lean in his direction.

"You do know that Bruce Lee is dead, right?" giggled the brunette.

"Of course," shrugged Ron. "I wouldn't want Kim to get hurt. I mean, Kim versus Bruce would be a tough fight. It could go either way." He released Kim to turn his attention to his Naco. Rufus was just in the process of finishing it. "Ah man…" he grumbled as he stood up to go back to the counter and order more food.

Kim saw Monique grinning at her. "What?"

"The way you reacted when Ron put his arm around you," smirked Monique. "Looks like even Kim Possible is attracted to the teen hero."

"Don't be silly, Monique," the redhead retorted. "I've been with Ron since the beginning. He's not going to dazzle me with his 'teen hero' act. _I'm_ the one who actually accomplishes the rescues and defeats the villains. _I_ plan the missions. Ron doesn't impress me. He's just…Ron."

"I don't know," Monique crossed her arms. "Sounds like somebody is MID."

"Em I Dee?" asked Kim.

Majorly in denial," Monique replied. "Hey, its understandable that you feel that way. You two have been through more in the last four years than most people have in their lifetimes! My Uncle Ben said that when you go through combat, you get closer to the guys in your unit than your friends, your children, or even your wife! Maybe that's why he's divorced…" the girl trailed off.

"Combat?"

"Aren't the villains always trying to kill you?" Monique looked Kim in the eye.

"Yes," Kim sighed, averting her gaze.

"Then it's understandable that your bond would be closer to Ron than anyone else in the world. For all you know he could be the one."

"The one?" Kim asked warily.

"You know_, the one_," hissed Monique as she made air quotes. "The one you spend the rest of your life with."

Kim's started with the realization. Before she could speak, Rufus who had been napping on Ron's empty tray let out a loud obnoxious burp.

"Hey, good one, buddy," smiled Ron as he sat down with a fresh tray of food. "How about this?" He let out a burp of his own.

Monique couldn't resist smiling as Kim frowned in concern. The familiar chirp of the Kimmunicator gave the redhead a welcome respite. "What's the sitch, Wade?" She asked him. "You found Drakken's lair yet?"

"Near an underwater trench in the Atlantic Ocean," replied the tech guru. "I've set you up with a ride with Admiral Sandecker of NUMA."

"Oh, yeah, I remember him," smiled Kim. "We're on our way."

_Next: Phonecall with Mom_


	4. Chapter 4

**Disney's Ron Stoppable **

By Galaxy1001D

_Chapter Four: Phonecall with Mom_

Kim Possible and other Disney characters are © Disney Co. Admiral Sandecker and NUMA © Clive Cussler and Sandecker, RLLLP. Professor Farnsworth and the deep-sea suppositories are properties of Matt Greoning and David X. Cohen.

Kim was on the cordless phone babbling incoherently to her mother while searching for clean mission clothes up in her attic bedroom. "Mom, Monique says that I'm Em-I-Dee, and that I'm crushing on Ron, and that since we've been through combat together, we're closer to each other than anyone else, and that he could be the _one_, and…and…I'm going to get stuck with Ron!"

"I don't see what the problem is, Kimmy," said her mother's soothing voice through the distortion of the phone lines. "Ron's a very nice boy."

"But he's such a flake!" whined the redheaded teen. "He's a lazy slacker who takes credit for _my_ deeds and lets it go to his head!"

"He's your best friend, honey," retorted Mrs. Dr. Possible, giving the motherly sigh guaranteed to induce guilt. If Kim didn't know better, her mother was attempting to use the puppydog pout over the phone.

"Yes!" Kim agreed. He's a great friend! He's my best friend."

"But not boyfriend material," scolded the lady brain surgeon.

"Yes! That's right!" Kim said as she struggled to get her black top over her head while talking on the cordless. "So not boyfriend material."

"Why not?" Her mother asked the trick question.

"I don't know," groaned Kim as she found a pair of cargo pants. "He's just…Ron. He's the brother I never had!"

"Honey, you have Jim and Tim," her mother retorted.

"Those are the brothers I _did_ have," corrected Kim. "Ron is the brother I _wanted_ to have. It's creepy to think of him in a boyfriend way."

"Your father thinks it's creepy for you think of _anyone_ that way," her mother teased.

"Mom! Not helping!" Kim scolded as she changed her pants.

"Romance is creepy," her mother insisted, "Especially if you're the parent of a teenage daughter. That's why it's so sweet that you're crushing on Ron."

"Mom!" She protested. "I am _so_ not crushing on Ron!"

"Then what are you doing?" Again, a trick question.

"I-I don't know," Kim stammered as she found her shoes. "I just don't like all of the attention he's getting at school! He never has time for me, that's all…"

"Kimmy, he's been your boyfriend before," the Possible matriarch pointed out.

"Mom!" Kim protested. "That was in second grade! I had to wrestle him to the ground and pin his arm behind his back before he'd agree to be my boyfriend! That doesn't count!"

"Well, just wrestle him to the ground again, honey," her mom teased. "A lot of time has passed. Who knows? He might like it this time."

"Mom!" Her daughter cried. "Hurl factor reaching critical!"

"Hand me that clamp," her mother said. "Let's stop the bleeding and then get ready to close."

"Mom?" A feeling of dread replaced Kim's outrage. "Do you have me on speakerphone?"

"Hi Kim!" came a chorus over the phone. Everyone in the operating room had heard the entire conversation.

"Sorry, honey," her mother apologized. "But hands free is the only way to go. At least I make time for my baby no matter how busy I am."

"Ohh," Kim groaned.

A masculine voice came one the line: "Look, Kim, you have to figure out how you feel about him, and then tell him. Anybody who can save the world should be mature enough to handle what you have to say, right?"

"Oh yes, that's right, Doctor Harrington," stammered Kim. "Thank you."

"I'm sorry, baby, but I've got to hang up," said her mother. "Bye-bye, good luck on the mission. Try to get back in time for dinner. Dad's bringing home pizza!"

The National Underwater and Marine Administration was a civilian government agency that scientifically studied the sea the way that NASA studied space. Just as NASA had a strange marriage with the Air Force, NUMA was riddled with many specialists who used to be in the Navy. Admiral Sandecker, the founder and head of NUMA was usually in Washington lobbying for political and financial support of oceanography even thought he had retired from the Navy decades ago. Since some of NUMA's specialists and divers had gotten involved in saving the world from megalomaniacs from time to time, Admiral Sandecker was understanding and willing to help two young world saving heroes "just starting out."

Fifty miles east of the isle of Bermuda, the NUMA submersible research vessel _Argos_ sailed over the Atlantic trench. The massive vessel was the first non-navy submarine to feature a bastardized version of the Soviet caterpillar drive that in theory made an underwater craft as quiet as a blue whale. The idea was to prevent the vibrations from the science vessel's engines from affecting the strange marine life at this incredible depth, but Team Stoppable was hoping it would allow them to sneak up on Drakken's undersea lair undetected.

"Thanks for the lift, Admiral Sandecker," said Ron, his naked mole rat perched on his shoulder.

"Well, my boy," said the bearded officer. "It's the least I could do after your naked mole-rat repaired the navigational system of the _Neptune_."

"Oh, that?" said Ron. "It was no big. He fixed my Z-boy when it got a spike once."

Rufus chirped proudly.

"I still don't see how you expect to survive the pressure of this depth," said the retired Admiral. "I wasn't able to get a hold of the Navy's deep pressure suits in time."

"Deep pressure suits, deep pressure suits," Ron mused. "Oh, you mean the big ones with the clamps that look like a cross between a space suit and a giant robot?

Sandecker laughed. "That's right. How are you going to survive the pressure? Doctor Drakken won't just let us dock up to his base, you know."

"Um, yeah," murmured Ron. "Kim's working on that. Kim?"

"Wade," Kim hissed into her Kimmunicator. "NUMA couldn't get the suits. What do we do?"

On the screen of the device was a tubby Afro-American preteen in a bedroom full of computers. "I had a hunch something like this would happen," He stated with a maturity that seemed impossible for his ten years. "Check your backpack."

Kim found a canister the size of a can of peaches. When she opened it, she poured three black spheres into her hand. Two were about the size of golf balls. The third was the size of a small marble. "What are these?" She asked. Ron, Sandecker and Rufus stood behind her and attempted to listen in.

"Professor Farnsworth designed them for NUMA." The boy leaned close enough to his webcam that even Sandecker in the back could see the freckles on his milk chocolate colored skin. "They're highly experimental. These pellets are designed to protect you from both the ocean pressure and the bends."

"Um, not to complain or anything, Wade," said Kim with concern. "But if the big ones are for Ron and me and the little one is for Rufus, how do you expect us to swallow them?"

Wade's face became apologetic. "That's the bad news, guys," he said has he rubbed the back of his neck and looked away. "You don't swallow them. They're suppositories."

Kim turned pale. Rufus squeaked in alarm. Ron scratched his head. "Suppositories? That's a school word, I should know this one…" Rufus whispered in his ear. "What?" he exclaimed. "You mean we have to shove it up our…" The naked mole rat nodded sadly. "Eep," Ron squeaked.

_Next: Drakken's Underwater Lair_


	5. Chapter 5

**Disney's Ron Stoppable **

By Galaxy1001D

_Chapter Five: Drakken's Underwater Lair_

Kim Possible and other Disney characters are © Disney Co.

Deep beneath the sea, on the edge of the subaquatic abyss known as the Atlantic Trench was a domed edifice that looked like an alien spacecraft. The massive structure was circular and saucer shaped with a massive mosque-like dome capping the sinister building. Along the edge of the saucer were many metallic sphincters like the irises of oldstyle film cameras, some large enough for submarine vehicles to enter. Tubes extended from the main base and descended into the Atlantic Trench.

Inside, the nefarious Doctor Drakken was putting the finishing touches on his latest doomsday device in his quest for world domination. The mad scientist resembled an animated corpse for his skin was entirely blue. His glaring eyes peered out of dark circles on his face. Above his angry orbs was one long bushy unibrow that looked like a hairy black caterpillar. His wild black hair was tied back in a ponytail, and his receding hairline and prominent cheekbones made his cadaverous face seem even more skull like. A scar bisected his left cheek and nearly reached the tear duct of his left eye. He was clad almost entirely in blue, the same shade as his skin. With his long coat pulled shut he looked more like a wizard or a priest than a scientist.

Shego, his assistant, could be described by the amorous as beautiful and by the prudent as dangerous and not to be described at all. Her green and black jumpsuit was styled somewhat like a jester's costume with alternative colors on either side. Her skin was deathly pale, with a slight yellowish-greenish tint the only color on her face. Raven black hair with green highlights cascaded down to just below her waist, matching her dark lips. Her forest green eyes conveyed cruelty, aggression and boredom. Her lithe body was draped in a chair in front of a control console with many security monitors as she filed her nails. Doctor Drakken had never determined how she could file her nails while wearing her gloves; perhaps it was some superpower. After all, she had the power to shoot bursts of green plasma from her hands, who knew what else she could do?

"At last, Shego, we are ready to test the Seismic Tsunami Generator! Soon the North American east coast will be washed away, and with it, Washington DC!" The sinister scientist gloated. "After I wipe out the United States government, the world will be plunged into chaos! Soon the world will belong to Doctor Drakken!"

His accomplice in evil wasn't anywhere near as excited. "Third time's the charm, huh?" She asked in a bored voice.

Drakken didn't care for her tone. "Look Shego, not only did we have to adapt the Quantum Interphase Transducer to run on fusion power, but we also had to set up miles of metal cable inside the Atlantic Trench! Cut me some slack, yo!"

"Just as long as you don't try to talk cool again," she sniffed. Just then an alarm lit up on her console. "Uh-oh, it looks like we got a malfunction in Sector Three. One of the airlocks just opened from the outside, ran through its cycle and opened the inside hatch."

"If it isn't one thing, it's another," Drakken grumbled. "Is Sector Three flooding?"

"No, the airlock worked perfectly," Shego, replied. "Its just that we don't have anybody on the outside that would need to come in. You don't suppose we got company?"

"Please, Shego," scoffed the blue villain. "We're under tons of water. No one could get down here."

"_We're_ down here," she smirked. When she was answered by only a quiet growl she sighed, set down her nailfile and then rose to leave the room. "Just the same, I'm going to go check it out. It's probably nothing."

At the airlock in Sector Three, two figures in bulky diving gear hauled their equipment out of the airlock. Kim took off her helmet, and then removed the deep-water insulator from the Kimmunicator. "We're in Wade. You rock."

"I've got an update, Kim," the junior genius replied. "The sensor package I installed aboard the _Argos_ has picked up some cable lining the wall of the Atlantic Trench. It looks like Drakken is up to something big."

"Isn't he always?" Kim sighed. She glanced over to Ron who was opening a little door on a heavy, circular object the size of a medicine ball. Rufus popped out and took a deep breath. "Okay, Ron, let's get out of these suits and get moving." Kim shed her diving suit, revealing her black top and tan cargo pants underneath. While she was retrieving her gloves, shoes and belt out of her water and pressure proof pack, Ron shed his dive suit to reveal…

…blue boxer shorts with yellow polka dots. "Oops," Ron gulped. Rufus made an embarrassed noise.

Kim closed her eyes and put a hand to her temple and groaned. "Here," she said as she tossed him a waterproof pack. "There's a spare set of clothing in here."

"Thanks, Kay-pee," sighed the grateful boy.

After Ron got dressed, they snuck down the corridors of the claustrophobic complex. "I really got to hand it to Drakken, Kay-pee," said the plucky tow-headed boy. "He's got the underwater lair thing down cold!"

"Shh, I hear something," hissed Kim. "We must be getting close to the control room."

They discovered a chamber filled with control panels and monitor screens. The ceiling was a mass of florescent lights and cables. In the center of the room was a huge apparatus that had ladders and safety railings on it. On top was a podium with a control panel, and behind the podium was Doctor Drakken. "Ah, Ron Stoppable, my teenage foe," purred the azure antagonist, poised at the controls. "So you've come to thwart my latest plan! You won't find it so easy this time!"

"What are you talking about?" Ron replied as he and Kim peered up at the evil scientist. "This place doesn't look so tough."

Behind them crept a green and black shadow as quiet as a cat. Suddenly a gloved hand grabbed each of the teenagers' heads and knocked them together. Kim and Ron emitted groans as they fell to the floor unconscious. "How would you know?" Shego smirked. "You didn't take a good look around. I think you missed something."

When they came to they were suspended from a wall by manacles. "My head hurts," Ron complained.

"It's about to get worse, Ron," said Kim through gritted teeth.

Drakken had left the platform and had come down to gloat in front of them. "Ah, Ron Stoppable, my archfoe, and er…um…" He looked over at Kim in confusion.

"Kim Possible, his kung-fu sidekick," offered Shego, who has lounging near a control panel.

"No, that's not her," muttered Drakken. "The face is familiar…"

"Kim Possible," Kim sighed. "Sophomore and head cheerleader at Middleton High."

"No that's not who you are…" grumbled Drakken as he searched his mind for the girl's identity.

"For crying out loud," exclaimed Ron. "You went to school with her father, Doctor James Timothy Possible!"

"Ah! Yes!" cried Drakken in triumph. "That's _exactly_ who she is! I _knew_ she looked familiar!"

Kim grunted in frustration.

"So Ronald," gloated Drakken. "Have you figured out my latest scheme?"

"Give me a second," replied Ron. "You've got a lot of stuff around here…"

"He's going to set up harmonic vibrations in the Atlantic Trench in order to create an undersea earthquake that will start a tidal wave," snapped Kim.

"Sidekicks should be seen and not heard," Drakken growled. "So tell yours to shut her mouth!"

"Am I right?" Kim smirked.

"Yes," sighed Drakken in disappointment.

"Hey, that's okay," smiled Ron. "If it makes you feel better, _I_ didn't figure it out."

Drakken brightened and continued his rant. "Yes! Once the Quantum Interphase Transducer has converted the power from my fusion generator into electro-harmonic vibrations I shall channel them through the miles of cable that I have strung along the Atlantic Trench! The undersea quake will produce a tsunami that will wipe out the United States east coast! Boston, New York, Washington, all will be destroyed by the ocean's onslaught and the United States will be plunged into anarchy. Only I will be able to restore order and the US will be only too happy to bow to my benevolent rule! They'll bow or they'll lose the west coast too!"

"You'll never get away with this, Drakken!" promised Ron.

"What?" Drakken's unibrow rose in concern. "Why not? Have you already come up with an escape plan? What do you know that I don't?"

"Oh, nothing," Ron smiled sheepishly. "As the hero, I thought that's what I was supposed to say." Kim shook her head.

"All the same," Drakken muttered. "I'd better dispose of you before you wreck _this_ plan. We're under tons of water so I can't risk you destroying my lair _this_ time."

"Are you sure you don't want to gloat anymore?" offered Ron.

"I'd love to, but you broke my rhythm," said Drakken. "Now how should I dispose of you?"

"Drowning?" Shego offered.

"I don't trust them near the airlock," said Drakken as he stared into Ron's uneasy eyes. "These two would find a way to flood the base even if they were tied up and blindfolded!"

"How about that microwave whatever you invented?" Shego shrugged.

"Ah yes," grinned Drakken. "I created a microwave death ray that would kill organic matter without affecting inanimate objects. It would be safer to use than a bullet or a conventional laser." He turned and walked over to his emerald assistant. "Now where did I put it?"

"Psst, Rufus!" Ron hissed. A pink bucktoothed face emerged from his pants pocket. "Push the red button," the blonde whispered as he nodded his head to a nearby control panel. The bald rodent smiled and gave a thumbs up sign and scurried down Ron's leg to the floor.

Rufus zipped across the floor and climbed up a chair to the control panel when suddenly a black-gloved hand grabbed him. "Ha!" Drakken crowed. "Got you!" Rufus squealed in alarm. "Look Shego, it's Ron Stoppable's little mole rat thing!"

"Great," shrugged Shego in a bored voice.

"So Ron Stoppable, I've got your secret weapon!" The mad scientist gloated.

"Rufus!" Ron cried. "Hang on! Everything's going to be alright buddy!"

Rufus whimpered back and squirmed in Drakken's grip.

"Shego, the cage please," said the mad scientist as his assistant approached with a wire cage. Drakken put Rufus in and locked the door, then turned back to his captives. "I was wondering where you put him. I've been looking forward to studying the little pest for a long time."

"Hey!" Ron protested. "Since when do _you_ want a naked mole rat?"

"Oh, you don't know the story behind your little chum, do you?" Drakken smirked. "Your computer guy isn't the only master hacker, you now. I found a top-secret military document titled 'Project Mickey'. Ever heard of it?"

"Huh?" Ron said stupidly.

"What's Project Mickey?" asked Kim.

"Project Mickey was an attempt by the government to breed intelligent rodents," explained the blue bad guy. "They experimented on lab rats, hamsters, guinea pigs and gophers, but their most successful results was with east African naked mole rats." Drakken pushed a button on the console and on one of the monitors appeared grainy photographs of various rodents. "They were supposed to be smart enough to train for espionage and sabotage. In addition they would be able to repair machinery without a mechanic having to take the whole thing apart to get the broken part. Ah, the project was so ambitious. Speech, an extended life span, the ability to survive on fast food without any health problems and a natural aptitude with machines and electronics of all kinds. Why, it would be like having a miniature R2D2 that could fit in your pocket."

"So what went wrong?" Kim asked when it was apparent that Ron was too shocked to speak.

"The project director went off the reservation," grinned Drakken. "She was siphoning off funds and materials for her own purposes. She wanted to create living breathing animal crossbreeds based off a popular line of plush toys. The military abandoned the project and the animals that didn't die of congenital defects were scattered in the pet departments of various Smarty Mart stores."

"W-wait a second," stammered Ron. "Who _was_ the project director?"

"You won't believe it," Drakken grinned. "Her name was Professor Amy Hall, but you know her better as…" he pushed a button and the face of a cheerful chubby bespectacled woman with a gap between her front teeth appeared on the monitor. "…DNAmy!"

"DNAmy!" Ron cried. "That is sick and wrong!" Rufus howled in horror. Kim gasped in shock.

"I really should have recognized Amy's work," Drakken shrugged. "After all, she is the foremost expert on biogenetics and besides, just look at this little guy." He picked up Rufus' cage and held it in front of his captives. "Most naked mole rats are as ugly as sin, but this little fellow is almost…cute." Rufus was hyperventilating as he stared at Ron. Tears formed in Ron's eyes as he beheld his pet's distress. "It looks like Amy created a new species of rodent, and this critter is the only one," Drakken smiled at the trembling rodent. "But don't worry. I'll clone three thousand of you. You won't be alone anymore. I'll have an army of rodents to infiltrate every military base on the planet! Ha-ha-ha-ha!" Rufus whined in fear.

"Rufus!" Ron cried. "Hang on, buddy! I'll find a way to rescue you! Drakken if you harm one whisker on his head—"

"Oooh," mocked Shego. "Scary man."

"All of this time I though we were fighting two of you," mused the mad doctor as he stared at his hairless hostage. "But there were really _three_ of you. And to think I never would have paid the bald rodent much heed if the _sidekick_ had been carrying him." He glanced over in Ron's direction. "Sorry Ronald, but by keeping him on your person you gave him away. Otherwise your little secret weapon here could have fooled me forever." Ron's lower lip trembled as tears formed in his eyes.

"This microwave gun thing of yours," Shego interrupted. "Is it going to cause much of a mess? 'Cause I don't want to clean it up!"

"Thanks for reminding me," said Drakken as he put down the little cage. "I'm supposed to kill these two before anything goes wrong." He looked at his prisoners sadly. "I'd love to have you witness my triumph, Stoppable, but I just can't take the risk," he shrugged apologetically. "You understand."

"I'll get over it," Ron growled.

"Actually, you won't," Drakken smirked. "Shego, keep an eye on the condemned while I go fetch the microwave death-ray," he said as he left the room. "I don't want them trying anything heroic while I'm gone."

"Got it Doctor Dee," Shego saluted. "Three helpless captives, coming right up! Make yourself comfortable, Ronnie. You're about to find out what a TV dinner feels like."

"Kim," Ron whispered. "I got nothin'. How do we get out of this?"

"Working on it," Kim hissed.

"I'll create a distraction," Ron whispered. "Whatever happens, don't pay any attention to Shego and me, just keep working on the escape plan."

Kim was surprised. Normally Ron never took charge like this, but now wasn't the time to wonder. "Got it."

Ron cleared his throat and then called out to the villainous vixen. "Hey, Shego! Doesn't the condemned man get a last request?"

"Only if it's within reason." Shego crossed her arms and eyed Ron with suspicion. "What is it?"

"How about one last kiss?" He asked.

"Awww," cooed the redhead. "Ron that's so sweet…" Kim sighed.

"Oooh, sorry sweetie," said Shego with mock sweetness. "No dice. The only way you could lock lips with your sidekick is if I release one of you. Not gonna happen."

"Oh I'm not asking to kiss _Kim_," Ron smiled smugly. "I want to kiss _you_."

"What?" Kim exclaimed. This was so much worse than Ron flirting with Bonnie.

"Did I hear you right, handsome?" Shego seemed skeptical.

"Hey, it's just something I've always been curious about," Ron grinned. "I mean, you must be curious too. What it would be like to kiss the world famous teen hero, Ron Stoppable?"

"Ron," Kim warned.

"You know, actually, I'm not," said Shego in a bored voice. "I've honestly never wondered what it would be like to kiss a pimply teenager."

"Oh come on," purred Ronald. "In the back of your mind you must have at least thought about it. You know, a kind of Fearless Ferret slash Foxwoman thing."

"Sorry, bright-eyes, the thought never crossed my mind," the viridescent villainess shrugged.

"Well its something that I always wanted to do before I die," Ron squirmed uncomfortably. "Not a lot of time left…"

"Ya got that right," Shego smirked.

"Ron, I will never speak to you again!" Kim cried.

"Well doy," teased Shego. "You'll be _dead_, the not speaking part goes without saying."

"So will ya?" Ron smiled hopefully.

"Ron…" Kim growled.

"What the heck," shrugged the beautiful baddie. "If it makes your sidekick cry, I'm game."

"Then why don't you give the ol' Ron-man some sugar," purred the tow-headed teen.

"Pucker up, Buttercup," said Shego as she put her arms around his neck. "Hey sidekick! You don't want to miss this!" Kim looked away as Shego snickered cruelly.

Shego's eyes closed as Ron's lips met hers. Then her eyes snapped open in surprise. Her lids began to droop as her arms caressed the restrained boy. Sighs and moans of pleasure could be heard as she closed her eyes to lose herself in the kiss.

"Shego! I'm back!" Drakken announced happily as he strode into the room carrying his death-ray on a tripod. "Are the prisoners still here?"

His evil assistant released Ron as she spun around guiltily. "What?" She stammered as she wiped her mouth. "Oh, yeah! The prisoners…they're…they're fine, Doctor Dee."

"Excellent Shego," smiled the mad doctor has he set up his death-ray. "Soon there will be no more Ron Stoppable! This is a great day for villainy!"

"Yeah," muttered his flustered cohort. "Great day."

"That's your great distraction?" Kim growled. "Boys! You're all alike!"

Ron just smiled stupidly at Shego.

"So Ron Stoppable, you're putting on a brave front, but I know you're scared!" Drakken cackled. Shego looked nervously over at Ron as her blue boss gloated. "Say goodbye to your sidekick, 'cause you'll only see her again in the hereafter!" Drakken crowed as Ron just smiled back at Shego without a care in the world. Sweat ran down Shego's face as the death-ray powered up. Ron winked at her as if to let her know things would be all right. "Farewell, Ron Stoppable!" Drakken cried. "Give my regards to oblivion!" Suddenly the manacles opened and released the trapped teenagers. They fell on their rumps as the microwave beam shot over their heads. "What?" Drakken cried. "How?" He glanced behind him and was shocked to see a green-gloved fist on the red release button. "Shego! Why?"

"Ron! Move!" Kim cried as she pulled Ron to the side.

"Aaugh!" Shego screamed as she clutched her head with both hands. "Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I fell for the oldest trick in the book!" She took up a fighting stance as her fists ignited in eldritch green energy. "Ron Stoppable! I'm gonna kill you…!" She ran at the teens knocking Drakken and his portable death-ray over.

"Hey!" Ron protested. "I didn't tell you to do anything--!" He ducked under a green flaming fist. "Yaah! Kay-pee! Hero in trouble! Hero in trouble!"

"I take it back, Ron," smirked Kim as she climbed up a ladder to the master control panel. "you make a _great _distraction!"

"You're dead meat, pretty-boy!" Shego cried as she chased Ron around the room. "I'm gonna wrap your butt around your neck and give you an extra pair of shoulders! I'm gonna slice you into little pieces and flush them down the toilet! _No one_ makes a fool of Shego! No one!"

Ron screamed as the blow meant for him sent the wire cage Rufus was trapped in flying. When it landed, the hairless rodent discovered that Shego's glowing green claws had ripped a hole in the cage that he could get out of. The naked mole rat scurried across the floor as Ron shimmied up a power cable to escape the irate woman.

"C'mon, Mystical Monkey Power," he chanted desperately. "Give me some kung-fu mojo to protect me from Shego…" Ron yelped as a green bolt of energy missed him by inches, sending sparks flying into his face. He swung hand over hand across the cables on the ceiling trying to dodge the emerald blasts she hurled up at him. "Stupid Mystical Monkey Power," he grumbled as he flipped though the air like a trapeze artist. "Never does nothin'! I'm supposed to have monkey powers but the Mystical Monkey Power never does nothin' when I need it…ah!" When a viridescent burst exploded near him it severed the cable he was suspended from, causing him to swing on it across the room in a passable imitation of Tarzan.

"Shego!" Drakken cried. "Stop! That's why I made a microwave weapon! You're wrecking the lair!" The craven criminal cowered as a control panel exploded in a burst of green flames.

"Kim!" Ron cried as Shego relentlessly pursued him. "Hero in trouble! Hero in trouble!"

Rufus squeaked at Kim as she disconnected the cables on the Quantum Interphase Transducer. "Sorry Rufus," Kim shook her head coldly. "_He's_ the famous teen hero. I got faith in him. He can handle it."

"Kim!" Ron yelled. "Partner in trouble! Partner in trouble!" When the boy uttered those words, Kim's eyes lit up.

"Excuse me, Rufus," said Kim with a determined look in her eye. "I've got to go save my _partner_!" Rufus gave a cheer as Kim dashed across the room.

"C-c'mon Shego," said Ron as she backed him into a corner. "I didn't mean nothin' by it. C-can't we kiss an' make up?" Shego glowered at him and ground her teeth.

_Next: You Buffoon_


	6. Chapter 6

**Disney's Ron Stoppable **

By Galaxy1001D

Chapter Six: You Buffoon 

Kim Possible and other Disney characters are © Disney Co. Professor Farnsworth and the deep-sea suppositories are properties of Matt Greoning and David X. Cohen.

"Kim!" Ron yelled. Partner in trouble! Partner in trouble!" When the boy uttered those words, Kim's eyes lit up.

"Excuse me, Rufus," said Kim with a determined look in her eye. "I've got to go save my _partner_!" Rufus gave a cheer as Kim dashed across the room.

"C-c'mon Shego," said Ron as she backed him into a corner. "I didn't mean nothin' by it. C-can't we kiss an' make up?" Shego glowered at him and ground her teeth.

Suddenly Kim tackled Shego from behind and the two rolled around on the floor like two fighting cats. Just as quickly as they joined, they separated, and each rolled to their feet with feline grace. "Get out my way, sidekick," Shego commanded. "I owe Ronnie a whuppin'!"

"So not gonna happen, Shego," smirked Kim. "If you want to get at my _partner_, then you'll have to go through me."

"Fine by me!" Shego growled as she sprang at Kim like an angry lioness.

At the base of the Seismic Tsunami Generator, Ron confronted Drakken. "So Ron Stoppable," challenged his azure enemy. "I see you know how to manipulate the heart of the fairer sex."

"Ooh!" the tow-headed teen exclaimed. "You said 'sex'! You said 'sex'!"

Drakken's face fell as he abandoned his faux upper-class accent. "I was trying to be elegant!" He growled. "You teenagers have your minds in the gutter."

Behind them in the distance, Shego had grabbed Kim and was repeatedly slamming her head into a wall.

"Oops! My bad," Ron apologized. "I mean, 'the feelings of a woman are no mystery to Ronald Stoppable'!"

"That's better," muttered Drakken.

In the background, Kim flipped Shego and kicked the prone woman in the ribs while she was down.

"You may think you can stop me, but you are already too late, Ron Stoppable!" challenged psychotic scientist.

On the other side of the room, Shego knocked Kim down with a blast of green energy.

"What do you mean?" Ron asked. "You haven't even pulled a lever to start the countdown yet!"

"Its something a villain is supposed to say, Mister 'You'll never get away with this'!" Drakken protested.

Just in view, Shego tackled Kim and managed to pin her arm behind her back.

"Ohhh, riiight," agreed the boy. "You'll never get away with this!"

As Kim and Shego thrashed around on the floor behind them, Drakken just gave Ron a contemptuous look.

"I mean, 'I'll find a way to stop you somehow'!" Ron corrected himself.

"Eh," Drakken shrugged in dismissal, and then became energized and alert. "That's what you think, Ron Stoppable! Look behind you!"

Far away from the banter between hero and villain, Kim's ankles seized Shego's neck and then twisted the green woman off of her.

"Wha?" Ron turned to look behind him, and then the mad doctor pushed him over. Ron tumbled to the ground and glanced up to see Drakken climbing the ladder to get to the control panel on top of the Seismic Tsunami Generator. "Oh, that's really mature," the boy grumbled. Suddenly an urgent chittering seized his attention. "Rufus? Where are you buddy?"

In the distance, Kim kicked Shego in stomach, causing the pale woman's eyes to bulge out.

"Over here," chirped his little friend. At the base of the Seismic Tsunami Generator, Rufus was vainly tugging on a cable that was attached to a car battery sized component of the doomsday machine. Other cables had been connected to the apparatus, but were lying about disconnected.

Behind Ron's shoulder, it was possible to see Shego grabbing Kim by the neck and belt and dragging the redhead over all the broken glass on the ground.

"Hey," said Ron. "I recognize that…it's the Quantum something-something that Professor Farnsworth invented! That's what we came here to get!"

Rufus chirped an affirmative. "Don't worry, Rufus, I'll help you get that thing loose!"

Kim seized Shego by her gorgeous raven tresses and kneed her repeatedly in the face.

"You're too late, Ron Stoppable!" Drakken cried from behind the podium atop the Seismic Tsunami Generator. When Ron looked up at him skeptically the mad doctor exclaimed, "No wait! Really this time! You're too late! Honest!"

Her fists bursting into green flames, Shego furiously punched Kim in the chin and stomach until the cheerleader tumbled behind of the Seismic Tsunami Generator and out of view.

Regaining his composure, the blue bad guy pressed buttons on the control console of the podium and adjusted dials. "Once I flip this final switch, the harmonic vibrations will create undersea tremors that will create a tidal wave that will wipe out the east coast! You've lost, Ron Stoppable!" In gloating triumph, he flipped a switch and then sirens and alarms sounded from every console in the hemispherical chamber. "Wha?" Drakken sputtered. "What happened?" He made a strange gasping noise as he looked down and saw that Ron had just disconnected the last cable from the Quantum Interphase Transducer. "The Quantum Interphase Transducer! You disconnected the Quantum Interphase Transducer!" Drakken slid down the ladder to face Ron. "You buffoon! Don't you know what it does?"

Shego screamed as she was hurled over their heads.

"It magnifies the output of won-ton burrito meals," the boy completely misphrased what Professor Farnsworth had told him as he hefted the Quantum Interphase Transducer into his arms.

"No, you idiot!" Drakken cried as Kim chased Shego past them while hitting the green vixen with a jagged piece of pipe. "I was using it to maintain the structural integrity field! We're under tons of seawater!"

"The structure's in gritty field," Ron repeated lamely as Rufus climbed up onto his shoulder. "What does that mean again?"

"The _structural integrity field_," the sinister scientist corrected as a projectile of green flame hurled past and exploded off the side of the Seismic Tsunami Generator. "It's a series of forcefields that support the superstructure of—Nyagh!" he sputtered in rage. "It means that with the field compromised, the pressure from being this far under the ocean will squeeze this place like a grape! The whole lair will implode!"

"Well, you didn't mention _that_ in your rant," Ron sniffed derisively. The boy's mind swam until he got an idea. "Hey, last Christmas, you had a bunch of escape pods aboard Drak Force One! Got anything like that down here?"

"Yes!" Drakken cried. "There are two escape pods right here in the main control chamber for emergencies! Shego! Get to your escape pod!"

"Kay-pee!" Ron called out in the direction of the ferocious females. "Snag one of those escape pods for us!"

The two women stopped struggling long enough to notice the red emergency lighting, multiple alarms sounding, and the cold seawater washing past their ankles.

"Hmm," Kim suggested. "Maybe we ought to finish this some other time?"

"Roger on that." Shego replied. The two ladies released each other and ran to the nearest escape hatch.

As Ron carried the Quantum Interphase Transducer over to a hatch with 'Escape Pod One' printed on it, a mechanical voice was heard over a speaker. "_Warning, structural integrity field compromised by 85 per cent. Implosion of base imminent."_ From his perch on Ron's shoulder, Rufus chittered anxiously.

Drakken opened the door to one of the two escape pods and shook his fist at the teens as he hollered, "Ron Stoppable, you think you're all that, but you're not!"

"Quick, Ron, get in!" Kim ordered as she struggled with her green nemesis. Ron and Rufus entered the pod as the sidekicks wrestled. "Sorry Shego, but this one is taken," The redhead smirked as she kicked Shego away and jumped into the pod.

Shego gasped in horror as the hatch closed and the indicator lights indicated that Escape Pod One had launched. Frantically, she ran over to the closed hatch marked, 'Escape Hatch Two.' Desperately, the hysterical woman pounded her fists on the hatch that Drakken had entered.

"Doctor Dee!" she cried. "Open up! Ronnie and the sidekick took my pod! For pity's sake, the pod has two seats!"

The hatch cracked open to expose Drakken's pouting face. "I like to put my feet up," he whined.

"Grrr! Move!" Shego pushed him back as she forced her way into the pod.

As they ejected from the doomed base, a spar from a collapsing tower hit the escape pod that Shego and Drakken were sharing. The villains screamed as they were knocked horizontally like an underwater baseball before the pod righted itself and resumed its ascent.

"What's the damage?" Shego asked as Drakken studied the data from a small control monitor.

"It looks like we're taking on water," he replied grimly. "We must've got a hairline crack someplace. At this rate by the time we reach the surface, we'll be completely submerged."

"You mean we're going to drown?" asked the green woman.

"Don't worry," he replied as he opened a small hatch on the ceiling. "In here are oxygen rebreathers like the kind that scuba divers use. We'll be okay until we reach the surface. When we reach two hundred feet I'll summon our flying saucer car to pick us up."

"Thank heavens," breathed Shego as she reached for one of the breathing apparatuses that was connected to the ceiling by a short tube. Then she had a thought. "Wait a second, what about the bends?"

"I've got it covered," her blue boss assured her. He pulled out a canister the size of a can of soda from under his seat. He opened it and poured out two black spheres that were almost the size of golf balls. "These are something else that the good Professor Farnsworth invented. I took the liberty of helping myself to a few while we were stealing the Quantum Interphase Transducer." He handed her one of the black spheres. "These will protect us from the water pressure and prevent nitrogen narcosis."

Shego examined the onyx orb critically. "Uh, no offense, Doctor Dee," said Shego, "but how to you expect me to swallow _this_?"

"You don't swallow it, Shego. It's a suppository."

Shego uttered a word that you will never hear on the Disney Channel.

_Next: Ron Comes Clean_


	7. Chapter 7

**Disney's Ron Stoppable **

By Galaxy1001D

Chapter Seven: Ron Comes Clean 

Kim Possible and other Disney characters are © Disney Co. Professor Farnsworth and the What-If Machine are properties of Matt Greoning and David X. Cohen. Admiral Sandecker and NUMA © Clive Cussler and Sandecker, RLLLP.

Hundreds of feet beneath the ocean, an egg shaped craft the size of a sports utility vehicle ascended slowly to the surface. Inside were two teenagers sitting on seats that faced each other, a strange apparatus on the floor between them. "I think we're safe," said the girl as she peered at a monitor on the wall to her right. "We've cleared the base and we're going up."

"Whew, that was a close one, Kim," said the boy. "Does this thing have a radio or signal beacon so Admiral Sandecker will be able to pick us up?"

"I think so," said the redhead. "Oh, here it is, 'beacon active'," she read from a tiny window on the monitor.

"Do you think Drakken had a bunch of henchmen down there?" the blonde asked as a naked mole rat peeked out of his pocket. "Do you think they got into escape pods or--?"

"Don't worry about _them_, Ron," Kim said eyeing him coldly. "They were going to flood the east coast. If there were any henchmen down there, they can take their chances."

"Hey, why are you looking at _me_ like that?" asked the tow-headed teen. "What did _I_ do?"

"Yeah!" demanded the hairless rodent sharing the seat with him.

"I can't believe you kissed Shego!" hollered Kim. "Our last moments on Earth together and you spend it locking lips with a villain! Some hero you are!"

"Wuh-oh!" Rufus exclaimed.

"Well, er, uh, ya see…" the boy stammered as he rubbed his neck nervously and looked away.

"I do have to admit, though, that was a great plan," said Kim, mellowing a little. "It worked like a charm, and neither Shego nor I saw it coming."

"What?" Ron stammered in confusion. Then his eyes lit up as if he suddenly got an idea. "Yes! My plan…my great plan!" He babbled happily like a drowning man who has been thrown a rope.

"Ah-huh! Ah-huh!" nodded the bald rodent. "Great plan!"

Kim shot him a look of disappointed contempt. "You are so flawed."

"I am what I is!" he proudly proclaimed. Rufus did a little victory dance while Ron made a wave motion with his arms. "Woo-who!" His celebration was interrupted by an angry growl from his sidekick. "Oops," he muttered.

"You horny…toad!" Kim angrily choked. "I ought 'a belt you!" She exclaimed while shaking her fist at Ron. "Kissing Shego as your last act on Earth! You disgust me!"

"I told you whatever happens to ignore Shego and me and cook up a plan!" Ron accused her. "I provided the distraction, you came up with zilch!"

"You expect me to believe that was your distraction?" Kim put her hands on her hips.

"Well, it distracted her didn't it?" Ron insisted. "It distracted her so good that she let us go!" The boy crossed his arms in indignant satisfaction. "You can't get much better than that!"

"Yeah!" Rufus agreed, crossing his forelimbs in imitation of Ron.

"You just wanted to kiss her!" Kim accused.

"Hey, I never expected her to say 'yes'!" Ron protested. "If you hadn't piped up like that she never would have agreed to it! I said 'whatever you do, don't pay attention to Shego and me', didn't I?"

"Well, I didn't expect you to come on to Shego!" Kim complained. "How did you expect me to react?"

"I was pressed for time!" Ron shrieked. "I told you that I didn't have a plan, didn't I? _You_ were supposed to come up with the plan!"

"I couldn't concentrate with you flirting with Shego!" Kim crossed her arms and turned her head to the exit hatch. "Last kiss, my foot!"

"Well it worked better than I expected, didn't it?" Ron insisted. The boy broke into a devilish smile. "I guess the ol' Ronster really does know how to kiss a girl if his life depends on it!"

"Woo-who! Playa!" chirped Rufus.

"You…! You…!" She stammered. "Fine," she said in irritated defeat.

"Now that that's over with, time to concentrate on more important things, like who to take to the spirit week dance…"

Kim growled and looked away.

"Okay, what did I do now?" asked Ron with weary impatience.

"Why don't you just go with Bonnie, if you like trash on two legs?" Kim snapped.

"Can't do that, I promised she'd go with Brick," he replied. When Kim just snorted in response, he said, "Hey, you've been acting kind of random, lately. This isn't just about Shego is it?"

Kim's shoulders slumped in defeat. Her face fell and she shut her eyes.

"Awww," crooned Rufus in sympathy.

"C'mon, Kim, what's wrong?" Ron cajoled. "Aside of the Shego thing," he added self-consciously.

Kim saw his embarrassed smile out of the corner of her eye. She blew a strand of hair out of her eyes and gave him a sidelong glance. "All right," she sighed. "I know this is way shallow, but I can't stand sharing you with everybody…"

"_We_ created the teen hero," he responded. "I know it's not fair that the world wants a piece of me…"

"I don't mind sharing you with the world, Ron," Kim closed her eyes again. "It's the girls at school. I can't stand to see them fawning all over you."

"Why not?" Ron was probably the only person who could ask that question and be taken seriously.

Kim took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. "I know this is way immature, but—" All of a sudden she bounced up and down on her seat with her fists clenched. "—You're mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!" She shouted like a child having a temper tantrum. "I've known you longer than they have! I stuck up for you when nobody else would! I had your back when everybody thought you were a loser! And now they think they can just waltz in and take you away from me! Those shallow, stuck-up—"

"Chill, Kim, chill!" Ron waved his hands at her. "I get the message. I should stick by my real friends and not just my fair-weather friends. I get it."

When it looked like Kim was going to cry, he leaned forward and put his arms around her.

"I'm sorry, Kim. I never meant to hurt you. You had cheer practice, and the swim team, and the yearbook and all the other clubs and extra-ciric's, but all I got is the teen hero thing, when its you whose been the real hero all along. I haven't forgotten that…"

Kim gave him a stern look through her glistening eyes.

"…much!" He stammered as he released her and retreated to his seat. "Okay, I may have forgotten it some of the time, but not when it really counted!"

Kim looked him squarely in the eye and raised one eyebrow in disbelief.

"Okay, that was usually on the missions…"

The girl still stared at him skeptically.

"…when I needed you to save my bacon," he admitted as he looked away and rubbed the back of his neck.

Her expression softened and a smile almost peeked through.

"…but I never meant to goon on my popularity. I'm not stupid. I know it won't last. I just wanted to cash in on it while I had the chance, that's all."

Kim glanced down at the floor, but at least she was still facing him. "I'm sorry to get on your case, Ron," she apologized. "I've been the center of attention all our lives. It's okay for you to excel in some areas. I have to admit, this whole 'teen hero' thing has really built up your confidence. You've really matured in the last year." She leveled her gaze at him. "I've always wished you'd grow up, and then I hate it when you do. I guess I wouldn't be happy if I was hung with a new rope, huh?"

They shared a laugh.

"That's a funny expression isn't it?" Ron said to Kim and Rufus. "'Wouldn't be happy if he was hung with a new rope.'" His expression was one of mock seriousness as he affected a southern drawl stereotypical of cowboys. "'Dirty Dirk, you're a gonna be hung,'" He then broke into a wide grin. "'But ah got good news! The rope were a gonna be usin' is brand spankin' new! Whad'ya think a thet?'" Rufus and Kim found it hard to stifle their giggles as Ron took the role of the second cowboy. "'Wall, Sheriff, if it's a _new_ rope I guess a dyin' a hangin' ain't all _thet_ bed…'"

Kim, Ron, and Rufus laughed again.

"Ron," Kim said shyly. "Will you go to the spirit dance with me?"

"I'd love to, Kay-pee," he smiled chivalrously. "All you needed to do was ask."

She smiled at looked at the ground, and gazed back at him. "You know, Ron, this is like the end of a James Bond movie. The hero and his plucky female sidekick in a raft together, in the middle of the ocean…"

"Hey, yeah!" Ron smiled. "It is like that, isn't it?"

Rufus hummed some of the James Bond theme from _Doctor No._

Kim left her seat to sit next to him on his. "That's usually when the guy and girl get a little romantic…" she said slyly.

Rufus let out a low whistle.

"Er, uh," Ron stammered as he pulled on the neck of his black mission shirt. "They do, don't they?" He babbled as he leaned away from her, forcing Rufus to scurry over to side of the escape pod that Kim had evacuated.

"Mm-hmm," she nodded as she leaned in close to him. "I'm curious about your life-saving kissing technique."

"Uh, Kay-pee," Ron smiled nervously as he hopped over to share the seat with Rufus. "You act like you want to be my girlfriend or somethin'…"

"Yeah, I do, don't I?" Kim smiled back.

"Er, yeah…heh-heh," he chuckled nervously. "Boy, that takes me back to second grade."

"We were little kids back then," Kim said with a dismissive gesture. "I had to wrestle you to the ground and twist your arm behind your back to get you to be my boyfriend, but we're _big_ kids, now…"

"Oh, yeah," Ron grinned shakily. "We sure are, aren't we?"

"Uh-oh!" Rufus chirped.

"So Ron," said Kim exaggerating her flirting. "Do you want to be…my _boyfriend_? Hmmm?" She attempted to strike a seductive pose in the cramped space of the pod while maintaining eye contact with the flustered boy.

"Sure, Kay-pee, I'd love to, but I just…can't," he muttered quietly.

"What?" Kim gasped. All conversation ceased when the pod rocked back and forth, signaling that it had reached the surface. "Why not?" She demanded as soon as she was able.

"It's just that, nobody has ever gone out with me for longer than three weeks, Kay-pee," he replied softly. "The whole 'teen hero' thing may attract 'em, but once they get to know me they always flake."

"Ah-huh, flake," chimed Rufus.

"_I _know you better than anyone, and _I_ won't flake," Kim insisted indignantly.

"Pretty words, Kim! I can't take that chance!" The boy screeched. "Zita Flores was so into fantasy her idea of a dream date was meeting online instead of in person! What kind of date was that?"

As Rufus made a rude noise Kim smiled guiltily, remembering that she didn't have a problem with Ron dating Zita Flores.

"Mary Gariono left me after three weeks! Three weeks!" He exclaimed. "I really thought we had something, then she said that if I didn't get rid of the naked mole rat it was over between us." Rufus stuck out his tongue and made a rude sound. "Boy, do I miss her," Ron looked up at the pod's ceiling sadly.

Kim grinned bashfully, ashamed of the fond memories of having Ron all to herself after the breakup.

"Every girl who I've gone steady with has left once they got to know the real me!" He complained. "Do you know how that can mess a guy up? So from now on, I'm playing the field and never dating the same girl twice in a row, ever!"

"Ah-huh!" Rufus resolutely affirmed.

"But _I_ accept you for who you are," offered Kim. "Surely you can make an exception for _me_…"

"I'm sorry Kim, but I can't take that chance!" He announced dramitcally. "I can't take a chance on our friendship! You're the most important person in the world to me! I can't risk losing you! What if it doesn't work out? I can't go through life without you!"

Rufus sniffed pitifully.

"Dramatic much?" She retorted. "Look, our friendship has taken everything we've thrown at it. It can survive us dating. Besides, I hate sharing you with the girls at school. If we're going steady, it'll mean 'hands off.'"

"What about Josh _Mankey_?" The boy asked with exaggerated jealousy. "I thought he was a hottie?"

"Yeah!" The rodent accused.

"Maybe I just have a weakness for laid-back, artistic blondes," she replied smugly. "Maybe subconcously, I was crushing on someone a lot _closer_."

"Kim," Ron whined. "I love you." Kim's face lit up. "I-I I mean I love being with you!" The boy cried. "Really! Honest! But I can't take the chance of losing you. I'm sorry, I'm just not ready! "

"Don't worry, Ron," the redhead cooed as she took off her gloves. "I think I know how to change your mind," she said with a sultry smile.

"Yikes!" Rufus exclaimed.

Bobbing placidly in the Atlantic, the escape pod resembled a fishing lure in a pond or lake. Suddenly the water became turbulent around it as a large submersible vessel surfaced underneath. Soon the egg shaped craft was perched on the bow of the massive submarine _Argos_. Eventually a door opened on the conning tower and Admiral Sandecker led his crewmembers onto the bow and over to the door of the pod.

"Its still signaling sir," said a crewman wearing headphones. "But no one is answering our hails."

"Are Stoppable and Possible inside?" Sandecker asked.

"I hope so, sir," the NUMA radioman replied. "But it could be Drakken, Shego, or their lackeys."

"Let's not take chances," said the retired admiral as he drew his revolver. "Open the hatch on my signal. Okay, now!"

The hatch was opened and the sound of grunting and groaning emanated from the pod.

"What are you two doing?" The surprised admiral gasped. "Miss Possible, get off of Ronald at once!"

The surprised NUMA submariners stared at the two teenagers. Kim was straddling Ron's body in the space between the two seats. A bald rodent and a strange device the size of a car battery was on the seats while the teenagers thrashed on the floor of the pod. The boy was on his stomach, and the girl had his arm twisted painfully behind his back.

"Okay! Okay Kim! I'll be your boyfriend!" Ron whined.

Epilogue:

The light switched on to reveal a chamber filled with strange electronic objects crammed on shelves, tables, and displayed on pedestals. Ron Stoppable, the boy who could do anything, entered the room, followed by Kim Possible, his faithful sidekick, and Professor Farnsworth, the elderly scientist.

"Thank you for showing us your laboratory Professor Farnsworth," said Ron, his faithful mole rat on his shoulder.

"It's the least I can do, after you managed to recover my Quantum Interphase Transducer," replied the doddering old man. .

Kim was struggling with a bulky piece of electronic hardware. "Yeah, well now that we're here, where do we put it? It's getting heavy."

"Oh sorry, Kim," said Ron as he reached for Kim's burden. "Let me take that. Whoa!" He staggered backward under the unexpected weight.

"Yipe!" squeaked Rufus as Ron staggered backwards.

Farnsworth seemed distracted and glanced at the teens in confusion. "Wha?" The elderly scientist waved to a corner of the cluttered room. "Oh, just put it over there on that empty pedestal, just be careful not to knock over…" A loud crashing noise was heard, along with the sound of multiple metal objects hitting the ground. "…any of my other inventions."

"Ron!" Kim scolded, putting her hands on her hips.

Ron rubbed the back of his neck nervously "Ooh, sorry Professor Eff, well at least I didn't break that big screen TV hidden behind all that stuff."

Farnsworth squinted at the peculiar apparatus. It indeed appeared to by a large television set, but the border around the screen made the device look more at home in a science fiction show like _Space Passage: The Next Generation_ than a family's living room. "What? Oh, that's my What-If machine, I'd forgotten all about it," said the ingenious octogenarian.

Kim was intrigued. "What does it do, Professor?"

"Simply ask it a question, and it will show you images on the monitor in the form of an ironic narrative," replied Professor Farnsworth.

Ron scratched his head. "Okay, just in case Kim didn't understand that, could you explain it a different way?"

Farnsworth searched for an alternative explanation. "Well it will be like watching a television program that lasts from eight to eighty minutes."

"And we will be able to see what life would be like if…" Kim was interrupted by an outburst from Ron. 

Ron was hopping up and down with his hand raised high over his head. "Ooh! Ooh! I wanna ask a question!"

"All right, what's your question?" sighed Kim.

"What if Kim got the recognition she deserved?" asked Ron.

"Awww," Rufus cooed.

"That's sweet, Ron," said Kim, "but we really don't have the time. We've got homework, you know."

"Okay," he responded. "We'll cut it down to a half hour. If Kim had her own TV show, what would a single half hour episode look like?

"I'm sorry, Ron," she insisted as she pulled on his arm. "We've got to go."

"Okay," said a disappointed Ron. "Could we at least see your opening titles?"

"Sure," giggled Kim. "It should be fun."

"Very well," the old man pulled a remote control out of his lab coat and spoke into a tiny receiver. "_If Kim Possible had her own television show, what would the end credits look like_?"

"End credits?" Ron asked. "Dude, I wanted to see the opening credits."

"Wha?" Farnsworth muttered. "Oops. My bad. If you stay I can try again."

"Come on, Ron," Kim pulled him out of the room. "We've got to catch our flight. Let's go!"

"Aww mannn," the boy whined.

"Rats," said Rufus as he disappeared into Ron's pants pocket.

The screen flickered to life and revealed a still blue monochrome picture of Kim answering her Kimmunicator. The names of the cast and crew rapidly appeared and disappeared, almost to quickly to read.

END


End file.
